I was in a turmoil of a marriage that one would hit you and say it was the devil and religious folks will tell you to forgive, pray, fast and be more submissive.

By this time in 2012 I was battling for my life after a complicated emergency CS where I kept bleeding non stop and was in the theatre for hours. You see, I had a post term baby that was declared dead in my womb ( no foetal heartbeat) because we had no money  for CS! A pastor paid 100% the day before I went to the hospital for the sad news. 

The recovery process  for me was a tough one. I was kept in UUTH for 2weeks, transfused over 6pints of blood and an hourly pain reliever administered. Finally, when I was discharged one would have thought it's over. Sadly not. My blood count was still very low and I was pale, so my mom started her own home medication ( water squeezed out from pumpkin leave and that tasteless thing was given to me for days.

I was in a turmoil of a marriage that one would hit you and say it was the devil and religious folks will tell you to forgive , pray, fast and be more submissive. Until one day you are 6 feet below. 

We kept pretending that there was a home when we had our well decorated " boxing ring" for 6years. No one in his right senses would life a finger on a mother who was a fragile and vulnerable as I was at that time of trying to recover. And alas, another bout of domestic violence erupted and this time I almost didn't live to tell the story.  A belt was used on me which tore open my stitches. I was pulled out of a pool of blood and my family filled for separation and I was whisked to Lagos Nigeria.. 

During the separation I was introduced to a job and its started paying off and I made up my mind to come back and started doing the little business in our one bedroom apartment and within a year I sponsored my entire family and also my abusive husband to Six state in USA  hoping my husband could change. But this time it got worse. In Marriott hotel in Houston Texas he tried to raise his hands on me again as usual but I rushed to the phone to call 911 and he withdrew and pocketed his hands. 

That was the day I concluded that an abuser isn't controlled by any spirit whatsoever, it's their choice to abuse and they thrive  in an enabling environment. As soon as we got back from the trip, I took a walk to live to love again. Just because I finally grasped that I deserved better and my kids too. Marriage is for the living not the dead.

My story is for everyone going through any abuse and are afraid what the world out there hold. It may not hold all you want immediately but its hold life. 

Be safe first.